Admittedly, I am two days behind in the WEGO health blogging challenge. But those who know me well know I have a sad and acceptable reason to have missed a couple of days (saying goodbye to a D friend we lost this past week). I will be writing on the WEGO prompts this month, and I promise to catch up. But here’s to stepping in and taking up today’s topic: Super Powers.
Usually I’d write something pithy and clever. Usually I’d say something silly but meaningful. But today I have one superpower wish to use in the health activism world:
The ability to make it yesterday. I say “yesterday” hypothetically, because what I actually mean is “before.”
Make it before.
Make it before I knew the difference between a real problem and a ridiculous one (although I’m so thankful for that gift. I mean come on: how many of you in this diabetes and health-challenge world have snorted; hell, guffawed at a “problem” an acquaintance shared or posted?). Still, I don’t remember innocence anymore. I don’t recall a time when constant worry about filling scripts, making sure my child’s levels stayed semi-okay, helping friends who are in the same boat, learning about regeneration and beta cell replacement and artificial pancreas technology and just plain living diabetes wasn’t my life. Oh, and I forgot to throw in “acting like it’s not big deal.” And I’m just the mom – not even the patient.
This week I want to make it before because before, my beloved friend was alive. Before, I could count on her to help my daughter understand how to deal with things like drinking and diabetes or dating and diabetes or just plain becoming a young woman with diabetes. Before, I could see her. Yesterday, she was on the other line. Yesterday, she was a glimmer of the future. Yesterday, she was here for me to call or not call or ignore or think about in real time.
Before, I was not some kind of superhero expert on getting my daughter to the big city ER fast and then making sure they did exactly what she needed in an instant. Before, I didn’t turn off my compassion to make sure things just got freaking done already.
Before, my child was just another child, wondering if she’d need a shot at her next check up.
But then again, before, or yesterday (and in a way, 15 years ago seems like yesterday), my child had not blossomed into an amazing and outspoken advocate. She’d not yet become a beyond compassionate friend who would drop anything for a friend in need. Before, she had no diabetes camp friends. Before, she was not the young woman she is today.
And yet ….. I want it to be yesterday. I want innocence back. I want my friend back. Super power to me, today, is just as simple as that.